The Importance of Taking a Pause
Lessons From a Year-Long Sabbatical
It’s good to reconnect! As you may remember, I took a year-long sabbatical in 2019 from work. It was an amazing gift and I am truly so very grateful for it. People have asked how I spent my time, and I thought I’d share a bit about my experience. While the time could have unfolded in many ways, for me, and my style, I thought a lot about how I would know if I used this time well, and created an intention” to feast on the wonder and love in life”. From here I identified several areas of focus that included:
1. Slow down and reset to be more present rather than reactive.
2. Cultivate a daily personal relationship with spirit.
3. Deepen important relationships
4. Feed my strength of curiosity and interest in the world
5. Reflect on the past, assess the present, and plan for the future.
As someone who prefers structure, from here I reviewed my sabbatical list of things I could do (see the reflection exercise) and starting prioritizing actions in my calendar while trying to be careful of being no more than 80% full and holding the balance of planning and space for spontaneity. I had a daily journaling practice and a weekly sabbatical check-in with myself to help keep my priorities in focus. I’m now on the other end of it- and entering the new phase of transition and integration. How do I process and carry forward the important learning I received and have it inform my life going forward? Join me in this exploration.
Personal Lessons From a Year-long Sabbatical
Taking time off is important, and yet I get that not everyone can take significant time off from work. But still, in that we can learn through others- I thought I’d share some reflections. To try to keep it brief, I’m just bulleting out some major thoughts, each of which has a whole story behind it. Perhaps something will spark you to reflect on what a pause of some sort might offer.
I shaved my head bald. I felt strong, vulnerable, and curious about the positive reaction I had from so many people (especially women).
I was often told I look younger—I attribute this to lower stress levels and better self-care. What would we all be like with less stress in our lives?
Even though I had no work challenges to deal with, my mind still got hooked by stuff, which made me realize the nature of the mind is to be a meaning-making machine. Keep with meditation.
I’m a “doer”, and I’m inclined toward filling the calendar so I need to be mindful that “just because I can, doesn’t mean I should”.
De-cluttering my environment created calm for me and space for new to come in. I love opening my drawers and seeing organized clothing.
As an extrovert, while I was initially nervous to spend so much of my day alone, I learned to really cherish the quiet. A 5-day solo backpacking trip on the Long Trail was a highlight.
It was actually a gift to have a finite amount of time — it helped me sort what was important to attend to now versus in the future. There is more in life than I will ever experience, and sensing in with my head, heart, and gut is essential to my discernment of how to spend my time.
Relationships take time- and if my head is filled with too much stuff it’s harder for me to be present. The next challenge for me is how to maintain presence when the workload increases.
I am joyful in my body and love to move. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since my gymnastics days and was thrilled to experience my body’s strength and ability with training. (One of my goals was to ride 100 miles in a day which Jon and I completed in September in NYC).
When I am quiet there is more space to connect with spirit. Having a life grounded in spirit is essential to me. Sharing this about me with others is vulnerable and authentic.
Novelty is energizing to me and helps me feel alive. I gave the gift of a “novel date night” to Jon once a month- and it was fun to get out of our regular routine. I had the space to follow my nose a bit in topics that I became interested in (for example: learning some Spanish before traveling, trauma and epigenetics, how to keep backpacking food bear-proof).
Thinking about my own death is also a way to feel alive and present to the wonder of life. I wrote down my wishes for my funeral and wrote letters to Jon and my daughters in the event I should die unexpectedly with no time for goodbyes.
Of course, there is more, but this is a good place to pause. Noticing when it is enough for now.
Great Link
This inspirational reflection by Prince EA, reminds us of the importance to pause to experience the important moments of our life. (3:24)
Moving from Theory to Action
To support you in identifying some life priorities:
In 2018, a year before my sabbatical, I created a document titled “Sabbatical Could Do 2019” – throughout the year, whenever something came to me that I’d like to do that –whether it be making dandelion wine, sing in the Brattleboro Women’s Chorus, take a pottery class, try taiko drumming, etc., I’d just add it to the bottom of the list.
On January 1st I sorted the list into categories to see what arose. These categories then became my focus areas (for example: relationships, adventure, travel, spiritual) From there, I highlighted a few of the things I think I’d like to take on this year. The list shifted (For example, I thought I wanted to learn guitar but after investigating it, I realized that I didn’t want to put in the time, and would prefer to bike instead). Life is full of choices, and I realized that this list is for a lifetime, so at the end of 2019- I renamed my list to “Life List-Could do”. It is there as a repository for things that I could do- and I don’t feel obligated to complete them all, but it’s fun to review from time to time.
To what extent would creating your own “Could do” list be valuable to you? I encourage you to try it out if you find it intriguing.
The wisdom is in the pause. –Alice Walker
Book Review
Pause: Harnessing The Life-Changing Power of Giving Yourself A Break
Rachael O’Meara
While I did read several sabbatical books, what I like about this one is that is defines “pause” more broadly- whether that’s a daily, extended, a few breaths or even a digital pause. It speaks to those who know that they need some downtime and can take some leave, as well as those who may not have the ability to take an extended formal break from employment. It’s pragmatic in its step-by-step process- from identifying whether you need a break, how to take the pause plunge, and specific ways to build pause into your life. I love the last chapter- “Pausing as a Way of Life”-to actually rethink how we integrate pause into our life. This is the part I’m working on now. It’s a great book to help you reflect for yourself on what regular pause might do for your life.